I remember the day like it was yesterday. I signed up for this retreat on a leap of faith and had to just do it or I knew I would procrastinate and continue to put it off. I signed up for the WOR 1 in Alta in the end of Sept first of Oct of 2016. I was scared out of my wits. I remember sitting in my car at Alta Lodge trying to get the courage to go in and just register. I knew though that if I registered that I wouldn't be able to back out. I entered Alta Lodge and immediately had negative self talk kick in as I was working to get my room. The gentlemen that was helping me was kind and considerate and we both knew (at least I thought) why I was here. I felt ashamed and embarrassed to even be there.
After getting my stuff to the room I went to check in for the WOR. I saw a friendly face Jim Struve (my therapist for the last 6ish months). I went over and got registered and was told that we would have lunch. I went and sat down at the table making sure that I had a personal bubble to my left and right of the table. People came in and started chatting and I felt my heart was in my throat the whole time....
The day that my life changed for the positive was the day my story was shared. It was the hardest thing that I had ever done. I have been depressed, suicidal, addicted and almost lost my family a couple of times. My story was the hardest part of my life and yet it was the most freeing. I got it out of me....I finally was able to have a voice after 20 years of holding on to the darkest secret that I felt was going to destroy me and everything and everyone I knew if it was shared. I still remember the day I shared my story. I walked out on a break after sharing and just stared at the mountains. I took a picture so that I could remember exactly how it felt to tell the story. The smells, the sights and the cold rain cloud that sat over that place of healing.
I have always said that I would go back. Those mountains, in that special canyon have healing powers and have healed many men. My life hasn't been the same since. Its a cycle of emotions and I am gaining momentum and strength each day I cycle through them.
Thank you Jim and team. Thank you Men Healing. I will be forever indebted and promise to help others find the way. The path of a different way has been shown....